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February 6 · Issue #130 · View online
Level Up delivers a curated newsletter for leaders in tech. A project by https://patkua.com. Ideal for busy people such as Tech Leads, Engineering Managers, VPs of Engineering, CTOs and more.
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Managers are not therapists This week’s post was inspired by some Twitter discussions connecting managers to therapy, which reminded me of an experience of mine… A long time ago, I lead a team with about 10 people. On the team was a senior engineer going through a relationship crisis with their partner. When they shared their situation, it explained some strange behaviour I would not typically associate with them. In our 1-1s, I listened to them, trying to explore how I (and the team) could support them. We had a series of emotionally rough conversations but I learned a number of things out of this.
Firstly, I recognised I could not and should not provide therapy. I wasn’t then, nor am I now, a qualified therapist. You might consider some actions I took (e.g. asking questions, listening) associated with therapy. But I knew I wasn’t qualified to provide therapy, whose purpose is typically “to heal, or alleviate, symptoms of a concerning issue or condition.” That may sound harsh. I care about helping and growing people but I also recognise when I’m out of my depth. This person needed professional support, and we worked together to find external sources that could provide this.
Secondly, I knew we had a good level of trust because they shared this information with me. I can only imagine the scenario of what “might of” happened if they didn’t share this information with me. The boundaries between work and life are blurry, even if we don’t want them to be. If you are responsible for people, focus on building trust from the start. People will only share information with you, especially sensitive information only if they trust you.
Thirdly, we focused on what we could control and influence. Although I couldn’t influence what was going on at home, my responsibility to the company, team and this person was to focus on what we could control and influence. With so much going on in their personal life, this person needed more predictability and success at work. Translated into the work environment, this meant delivering solid work and being a team member, and not taking on “stretch” opportunities (which was ok). Empathic managers will ask good questions, take time to listen and find ways to support their team, but also know where to draw the line. Don’t pretend you can “rescue” or “help” everyone in every manner. Don’t forget there are other professions for a reason. Enjoy this week’s newsletter and be sure to pass it on to a friend or colleague.
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Don't confuse listening for therapy and remember there are other professionals for that
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Want To Help The Industry Level Up? At Orgspace, we’re building the first management platform built by and for software leaders. We’re hiring engineers who share our passion for helping leaders build effective organizations.
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5 key learnings from Etsy’s CEO on two decades in tech leadership
Reading time: 4mins (Medium paywall) This short interview with Etsy CEO, Josh Silverman (@jgsilverman) covers three topics close to all leaders’ hearts - career planning, what is leadership, and decision-making.
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Air Force names Joe Chapa as chief responsible AI ethics officer
Reading time: 2mins This is a fantastic move for both our industry as a whole and a courageous step for establishing a new leadership role in tech. Hopefully, we can read more about how AI is being used for the greater good.
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To share the work, share the decisions
Reading time: 6mins
Jessica Joy Kerr (@jessitron) offers some great advice for leaders to follow. The name says it all but read the article for some fantastic examples and implications with this short mantra.
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Join an online workshop (Mar 16/17) to level up your technical leadership skills. Click the banner to sign up now.
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AlphaCode and the Future of Programming
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Software Deployment, Speed, and Safety
Reading time: 12mins Senior Principal Engineer at Amazon, Marc Brooker (@MarcJBrooker) explores the relationship between the three factors in tech - deployments, speed and safety. More importantly, he raises the point software architects are trained to explore - context and tradeoffs.
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Zoom Fatigue Is Worse When You Don't Like Your Face
Reading time: 7mins Renee Engeln summarises some recent research that looks into Zoom Fatigue and some of the contributing causes. The great news with some of these findings is that you can alleviate some of this by turning off your camera (or “Hide Self View” in Zoom). My favourite these days is jumping on a good ol’ telephone call.
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Extreme (Programming) Thoughts
Reading time: 12mins As an experienced developer, coach and consultant around the Extreme Programming (XP) world, I tend to listen carefully to Ron Jeffries (@RonJeffries). His most recent article outlines how he would explain XP today. (PS: So many teams could benefit from using XP!)
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Managing Technical Debt in a Microservice Architecture
Reading time: 12mins Software Architect, Glenn Engstrand (@gengstrand), details how they use a Technology Capability Plan (TPM) at Optum Digital to manage tech debt over time.
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Can Firms Succeed Without Managers? The Case Of Haier
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If you're out there writing up one of your first engineering design docs:
Engineering design docs are pitch documents, not just explanations. You're convincing the reader that the design is good, that it has a reason to be done, and, implicitly, that you're expert enough
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A fantastic thread with lots of responses on what you can do to build psychological safety 👇 Click the tweet to expand the thread
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If you had to decide on *one* practice that built psychological safety in teams, what practice or activity would you choose?
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If you enjoyed this newsletter, please send me feedback and share it with others!
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Patrick Kua, Postfach 58 04 40, 10314, Berlin, Germany
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