Ever worked with a tech person who needed to have the last word, just to prove they are right? Yeah. You probably have one in your team, or you likely have several of these in your company. You might notice them because they like to be the person with the last word, play the “devil’s advocate” or talk the most.

I’ve worked with (and coached) many people as they transition into leadership roles and often need to ask the question, “Do you want to be right, or be effective?” Technical folk often seem puzzled because in their eyes, being “right” is the same as being “effective.” It’s not until we explore through some coaching questions do they realise their “pushing” their ideas, opinions or thoughts on others also tends to create invisible barriers… which they don’t realise they are creating. These invisible barriers might start with eye-rolling, silence (which they often interpret as agreement), and a poor reputation that lead to discussions they are not invited to. Ultimately, them continuing to push lead to others pushing back (escalation) or people being pushed away… neither very effective.

One common approach, for those looking at being more effective, is to start with questions. As the saying goes (Stevey Covey?), “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

Enjoy this week’s newsletter, and please pass it on to a friend or colleague who might benefit.

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